Meet Tennesha Wood, the dynamic founder of The Broom List, a matchmaking firm designed to empower successful Black singles in their pursuit of love within today’s intricate dating scene. Navigating the world of romance can be challenging for many, but Tennesha helps her clients overcome those hurdles. Her unwavering passion and dedication are evident as she champions for authentic connections that lead to profound relationships grounded in shared experiences and mutual understanding.
Tennesha’s journey and inspiration to help others in their pursuit of love, began around 2010. While working in sales, she traveled across the country and met educated successful girlfriends who were single but dissatisfied with their dating lives. At that time online dating was not as mainstream as it is today. She started using dating platforms and found joy in meeting people and building connections.
As Tennesha shared her experiences with her girlfriends, word spread and soon friends of friends were eagerly reaching out to her, seeking advice on potential romantic prospects. She discovered a profound joy in helping her friends navigate the journey of finding and connecting with their perfect partners. Around 2015/16, she left her corporate job and started a podcast about dating and relationships. That evolved into a coaching business where she helped individuals with their dating profiles and first dates.
The pivotal moment came in 2020 when Tennesha founded The Broom List, as her clients expressed a desire for deep connections and partnership during the pandemic. Initially facilitating virtual dates, she noticed people reflecting on the importance of companionship, which propelled her matchmaking venture into success.
How do you address the societal pressures and expectations that Black singles often face when it comes to dating and relationships?
The first thing I try to do is demystify a couple of myths. Particularly the one about there not being any available Black men. Statistically, that’s just not true. When you look at data and break it down by men who are college educated, making at least 75k and are single, the numbers are pretty equal of Black men and Black women who fit that criteria. They are out there right so that’s myth one.
Myth two is that social media is correct. Sadly I think what has happened today is that people are looking at social media, listening to what is being said, and taking that on in their own lives regardless if that’s their own experience or not. Let’s say I look at social media and see somebody on TikTok talking about how they went on the worst date. He showed up late, he didn’t pay. He didn’t do this. He didn’t do that. Someone can take that experience on and say “Oh well, I’m online but I’m not going on this date because this is what people are experiencing. I’m not dealing with that.” I think we really have to separate what is our own lived experience and what that looks like from what people are talking about in popular media.
If you talk to most people that you know personally and ask them about a particular date that didn’t work out, most of the time they will talk about the conversation not being great and there were no sparks. If you listen to social media it’s all catastrophic and horrible. I really try to encourage my clients to throw that mindset out of the window.
I’m big on manifestation and your thoughts are going to become your output. I really try to help them think about this in a positive way. Dating should be fun and you should be meeting good people. Is everybody going to be your forever person? Absolutely not! If you bring to it an attitude of lack, scarcity, and negativity that is exactly what’s going to come. I just encourage people to have a positive mindset and know what they are looking for is actually out there. That is actually step one.
Share some effective strategies or tips for those looking for love on how to confidently express their relationship desires and needs.
I work with a lot of people who are highly educated and very successful. In order to have achieved those things they had to do a lot of planning, a lot of preparation and properly had to get a lot of support from their families and friends. When you think of dating, we don’t think about it like that often. We mostly think of a fairytale when you are walking down the street and prince charming will just walk across your path and then you will live happily ever after. It doesn’t work like that. Similar to your career and education, finding a partner requires proper planning and preparation. It requires sitting down with yourself and actually knowing what you want.
Some people take their list and make it the end all be all. Sometimes they don’t even know where it comes from or why some of the things on their list are even important. Some will say I want someone who is six feet tall that makes six figures. Okay fine, but why is that important to you? What benefit or value does that add to your life and your goals? These are the questions I encourage people to ask. Don’t just take the things you heard are good to have, but genuinely think about yourself and what compliments that.
Know what you want and why those things are important to you. If you know you are a person driven heavily by emotion you may not want a partner that is the same way. You may want someone who is more logical and reasons in a different way. You really have to think about who you are. I’m not saying you have to change who you are, but think about what you’re good at and what you could improve. It’s important to know and understand yourself so you can pick a partner that can compliment or help you improve.
When you are out on these dates, this is old advice but it’s true, don’t try to be somebody that you are not. Don’t go in there trying to impress or trying to put on. Simply be yourself and be authentic. The best and most successful dates I have had… I just said what was on my mind. I was real and direct.
My partner, the night that we met, I don’t why I said this, but I asked him to show me the last five pictures on his phone and I showed him mine. Neither one of us remember what those pictures were, but had he seen something unsavory or vice versa it would have been fine. We were just being real and I think that is what people are lacking nowadays. People are scared to show the parts that are not really great. No person that you meet will be great one hundred percent of the time, maybe at first before the mask comes off, so you might as well be upfront about it.
I think oftentimes there is a hesitation to express what you really want on a date early on and can be considered corny. People should express their desires openly, whether it’s about marriage or children. You don’t need to have a rigid plan about wanting to get married in 2.5 years or wanting 2.5 kids in five years, but sharing your values can help align you with the right partners. Will it scare some people off? Yes, but those are the ones you want to scare off because obviously they don’t want the same things.
How important is community and connection among Black singles in the pursuit of love?
It can be easy to feel that you are the only person going through what you are going through. Rather it be dating or any aspect of your life, like it’s only happening to you. I hear a lot of people say I’m this age and all my friends are married with kids and brought their houses. There is always a need to compare ourselves to those in our friend groups. I think it’s important to have a community wherever you are in life, whether it’s being around other singles or those with children.
Everyone should have a community that helps them feel validated and understood. It’s essential to surround yourself with people who share similar experiences and values, whether you’re single and looking or content in your singlehood.
Visit The Broom List to learn more and follow Tennesha on IG at https://www.instagram.com/tenneshawood/